Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"you can't change time but time can change us"


Memoir: By Imani lavallais

Last year was a very important time in my life because I went too a new school made really close friends and then this year I had too leave them all! & it was also important because it was my first year of middle school! It had a really big effect on me because I had too make all new friends and then leave them & I miss them so much but i'm not sad all the time any more because somtimes if people are really special to then you don't have to see them everyday they always feel close to you even if their thousands of miles away or right down the street you don't always get to see the ones you love the most everyday but they will always be in your heart because we are always going too meet new people even though we make new friends that doesn't mean you need too forget the old ones EVER!!!!!! & now i'm not that sad all the time althogh I miss them emensely!!! I have made such good friends & I really like it here at East so I guess time really can chage us but always remember you can't change time!!!

1 comment:

Vincent Adams said...

Feedback:

I like your writing -- it has a very natural, conversational feel to it.

This is better than the last version I read; it seems to focus more on what your lesson was and how you got there.

What I would like to see more of is story. You tell me a lot about what happened but you don't detail certain events. I would like to see you Tell me about the first day of middle school and about the first friend you had. Set the scene. Put us there.

If you check the IC you will see I updated the grade. Thanks for following up on this. See you tomorrow! :-)